The Bush Legacy ?

It has finally occurred to W. that the "legacy" thing might be something that even The Black Prince himself - Karl Rove - and Daddy WARbucks - Dick Cheney - can't orchestrate for him. Consequently, I've devoted some of my spare time to come up with some noteworthy aspects of his alleged administration that should be enshrined for future generations:



1. Keep Repeating Yourself:

This is a noteworthy style of Bushspeak that employs the old political standard of simply spitting out the same phrase over and over again. Particularly useful in the Kerry debates, the President was able to demonstrate that even intelligent, articulate people can be derailed by repeating the same slogan. After all, if it sells fast food, cars, beauty products and a wide range of other products, then why not the President?



2. Don't Go Changing:

Our President realizes that, by steadfastly refusing to change his mind about anything, he has joined world leaders like Kim Jong-il, most of the Saudi Royal family, and the upper ranks of the Chinese government.



3. Folks Making Less Than Fifty Thousand Annually:

Fortunately, W. was exposed to lower income non-white people during his formative years - the maid, the gardener, the feller that takes care of the pool , and all those other folks. This invaluable perspective has allegedly surfaced in secret Presidential sensitivity sessions, in which Condi Rice tries to convince W. that reruns of Amos and Andy and the Cosby show will not produce viable solutions to the "race"issue.



4. Those Pesky Reporters:

Although rumor has it the administration started out by trying to supply the press corps with hand written questions for Presidential press conferences, the focus quickly shifted - when that technique didn't work - to holding as few as possible. Besides, when are those Democratic reporters going to stop asking questions about that Iraq thing?

5. That Stem Cell Research Thing:

Once the President's close advisers explained to him that a stem cell was not a new form of maximum security incarceration in the penal system, W quickly came to realize that it was better to let people die from incurable diseases rather than try to save them. This approach will ensure badly needed savings in health care as well as ensuring a constant supply of hospital beds.

6. Those European Fellers:

W's distaste for frogs' legs and the rest of that high faluting French grub made him realize why the country was always so hard to deal with - they have constant indigestion. Fortunately, the English speak American, so at least he could understand what Tony Blair was saying. The President also discovered that you should ask permission before you grab German women.

7. I'm On Vacation:

George's flawless sense of timing was evident in the fact that he was on vacation during two of the major disasters of his administration: 911 and Hurricane Katrina. Fortunately, he managed to recover his image after the hurricane, when one of those pesky network fellows asked him what his opinion was on Roe v Wade. W showed his compassionate side and said: "I don't care how they get out of New Orleans."

I'm going to volunteer to start accepting book donations for the W Presidential Library as a public service. Picture books are preferable, but, in any event, please scan the text in advance for words over two syllables.